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| 其實, 不是已經想得很清楚了嗎? 為甚麼還沒這股勁踏出這一步? 是還欠缺了甚麼聲音嗎? 前路, 有時真的太多東西遮擋。我真的應該現在豁出去嗎?
今日忙到信都唔得閒打, 我唔要走得咁狼狽......... 俾自已諗埋呢個星期。 | | |
| 生命中, 已經渡過了許多次9月。 大部份, 是開學的年頭, 都是充滿冀盼的。 但原來不經不覺, 我已經出來工作5年了, 這真是一段不短的日子! 而且, 仲要係同一間公司!! 頭3年, 是因為考牌, 所以沒多作考慮地在這裡默默努力工作。
踏入第4年, 工作愈來愈忙, 加上家中有些事, 我反正想用工作麻醉自己、 和經濟的考慮等等, 當時決定先留下來。
踏入第5年, 麻醉夠了, 人也捱得心力交瘁, 而且甚覺為d衰人做事真係極不願意, 所以, 真的很想很想走了, 誰知一個「金融風暴」搞到想搵份好工難上加難。 現在, 5年已過, 真係快得好恐怖.......
我知道, 唔可以再0係度蹉跎歲月。所以這幾個月除了積極send信, 仲趁slack season 做左好多平時難有時間做既野 (e.g. 跳舞, 畫畫, 睇戲, 行街, 做運動..... 可能呢d係好多人平時都做到既野.....) 其實一直都想在工作以外, 可以做到d有意義、有滿足感的事。
所以, 最近特別積極計劃 (詳情有進展再透露)。 同時, 有很多機遇, 我相信有上帝的美意。 就在這個月, 無意中碰上好些人, 分享了人命中的點滴, 多麼感謝上帝沒嫌我平時沒用得著的地方, 讓我在這些角式裡擔起一些份量 !! 凡事不可強求。但我信上帝要我地作好準備, 遇上時可以成就祂的恩典。 大家也要加油 ~~~~! 9月, 我深信, 仍會是充滿冀盼。 | | |
| Usually, the 2nd half of a year would be less busy for my case. It allowed me to call friends out for gatherings. But I also noticed some of them had long assumed I won't be free to join their gatherings, so, may be surprised to hear my voice. Met Pauline on Wednesday for dinner. It's really been a long time no seeing her. If it wasn't the chance of reaching her to ask about the travelling matters, I guess we won't get linked up again. Time is running so quickly, she's getting married next month. Hope she can pick up the faith she had before, come back to our church again. Last night, I just hang out with my "same-batch" colleagues, for a group of reasons, 5-yr anniversaries, birthdays, short-farewells, etc. Sometimes, it's really hard to keep friendships, but in such a busy world, somehow we're linked together. "Friends on earth"........ Thanks God for putting them around me. It's really been a relaxing dinner. Actually, this afternoon, just happened to have a chat with a very nice manager in my dept. She understand my case so much and strongly reminded me I have to plan more for my life, not only the career. Definitely, I treasure so much things more than career. She is really a nice person. Lord I know you love her as well. Wish they can get rid of the hard times soon. I can take many holidays in September, but who can I hang out with? Everyone is at work. In fact, I also got lots of work, but just no chargeable hours to fill in the timesheets. What a stupid company??????! When can I leave. Where can I go. Oh~ Please show me!~~~~~ | | |
| 23 August 2004, a Monday, was my first day working in this crazy company. Yesterday had just reminded me of how fast 5 years had passed!!! I really didn't expect I'm staying in this firm for so long when I accepted this offer.
I was telling myself, let's have a try on something beyond my area of studies.
This trial, had been a great lesson, yet a great test.
It's a test of people's ability to "chur", to adapt to changes, to endure your boss/clients' unreasonable requests..... Suddenly, I want to finish something on this "5-yr-anniversary". I brought my painting tools to office yesterday. And completed a painting kicked-off long ago. It's a mixture of scenes I saw in Swiss. It's beautiful and reminds me of my wonderful trip. A trip when I was just graduated, energetic and cheerful. 5 years' time had added on me some upset moments, really hard enough. But I'll remember also the glad moments. Lord's grace is sufficient! 
On the 1st of September, I'll become a year older.
And on the 1st of October, I can take-up a new position in my career. It's really about time for me to stop and think. Where should I go, and how should I spend my time. I believe God had placed lots of gifts along my life. Sometimes, I can't see well because my own thoughts are blocking them from my sight. I enjoy gaining satisfaction from work (of course not necessarily my current job....). But the cost I paid for this job is somehow too high. Like most girls, I just wish I can meet my Mr. Right. Much more important than having the right job......
Dear Lord, are you sending one? | | |
| 忽然感慨起來。 其實我真的不想如此泄氣, 但是這幾年, 生活上出現各方面的壓迫, 已經到了一個正常人無法忍受的地步。真怕有一天, 我會癲....... 上帝呀, 我真的想知點解!!!!! 點解有d人有得選擇的時候, 佢偏要揀個最笨、最差的方法?????? 點解間屋d位唔係用來正常起居、食飯、訓覺, 而要全屋人陪佢d珍藏垃圾同眠?????
點解佢要製造一個恐怖環境出來俾大家一齊捱?????? (但跟本係無必要!!!!!) 點解, 呢個係你阿媽?! 自小, 其實有好多童年陰影, 都係佢造成。有時, 真想離家出走。
熟我的人應該知道我而家住左0係一個超有問題既屋企入面。表面上, 大概未必看得出來。 日以繼夜的工作雖然令我好攰, 但係都唔夠返到屋企攰。
0係公司, 我仲有個位坐、有張自己既枱。0係屋企, 每日要練得一身絕技先可以「行」。
何以因為一個愚頑人的固執, 令我地全屋人生不如死? 我真的很怕我捱唔到好耐。 Is it Satan's trap to test me on my endurance? I physically really can't endure it anymore.
I'm just a very very normal person. I didn't expect a grand house, but just want to a desk to use, a chair to sit on and a bed with enough room to sleep. I just want my life to be simple........
一向, facebook 入面勁多唔知咩野request, 自開左facebook以來已積聚了不少。 早陣子, 忽然發現去年生日收到其中一張咭, 有一句﹕「Love ya so much」 Don't know if it's just a kind of warm greeting or else. But thanks for the card (a bit late reply). Well, I don't know..... | | |
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